My name is Patrick.
I’m Māori, born in Aotearoa/New Zealand, and adopted. I now live in the UK.
This blog grew out of the memoir I’m writing, but it’s also its own space — somewhere for reflections, pieces of writing, and poems that don’t always fit neatly into a larger story.
Why I write
People often assume adoptee writing falls into two categories: gratitude or pain.
But the truth rarely sits neatly in either.
What I write about is belonging. Not as a theory or an idea, but as something real and physical — a basic human need to know where you come from and where you fit.
For many adoptees, that need quietly shapes the course of a life.
What you’ll find here
- Reflections — personal essays on identity, family, and the cost of disconnection
- Memoir pieces — scenes and memories from a life shaped by adoption and denial
- Poetry — for the things that don’t behave like prose
- Podcast episodes — conversations and reflections on belonging (coming soon)
A note on tone
This isn’t a trauma dump.
I’m not writing for shock value. I’m writing because some things deserve to be said carefully and honestly.
Some of those things are heavy.
Some of my stories reflect on growing up in New Zealand in the 70s, 80s and 90s, and the racism I experienced at the time.
Some are about the quiet, complicated search for belonging.
Others look at the pressure to become someone else — to stretch or reshape who you are just to fit.
But I’m not sharing them just for the pain of it.
They’re part of a bigger conversation about something every human being needs:
belonging.
The Lies That Made Me: The Invention of Belonging. 