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If you’re new, welcome.

This blog is called The Lies That Made Me: The Invention of Belonging

because many of us grow up shaped by stories that were never really ours — stories we were given, stories we weren’t allowed to tell, and stories we told just to fit in.

What this is

This is a space for:

reflections
poetry
memoir pieces
cultural and personal identity questions
quiet truths that don’t always fit neatly into conversation

What this isn’t

This isn’t a place for shock, oversharing, or emotional spectacle.

I don’t write to reopen old wounds, either for myself or for anyone else.
I write to understand something universal:

the human hunger to belong.

Who this is for

I write as Māori, adopted from Aotearoa/New Zealand, living in the UK.

But this space is for everyone.

Belonging crosses:

gender
sexuality
race
family structure
adoption and non-adoption
faith and loss of faith
diaspora, displacement, and silence

If any part of you has ever felt like an outsider — you’re not alone here.